Sunday Joke!

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, the man answered his door to find a grim-faced constable waiting in the front yard. “We’re sorry, Mr. O’ Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife, Maureen” said the officer.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” Michael Patrick O’Flynn asked. The constable said, “I have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Mr. O’ Flynn said, “Give me the bad news first.” The constable said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife’s body in the bay.” “Lord sufferin’ Jesus and Holy Mother of God!” exclaimed O’ Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked, “What could possibly be the good news?”

The constable continued, “When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven’t seen lobsters like that since the 1960’s, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.”

Stunned, Mr. O’ Flynn demanded, “Glory be to God, if that’s the good news, then what’s the really great news?” The constable replied, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.”

Thanks ACFixer for sharing!

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Sunday Joke!

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“Hunting Flies.” He responded.

“Oh! Are you killing any?” She asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 females,” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked ….. “How can you tell them apart?”

He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”

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Thanks for sharing, Cob!

Sunday Joke!

A gorilla walks into a bar, orders a Mai Tai, and hands the bartender a $20 bill. After recovering from his shock, the bartender thinks, Hey, this gorilla doesn’t know how much drinks cost, and hands him back one dollar in change, saying, “We don’t get too many gorillas in here.” The gorilla replies, “At 19 bucks a drink, I’m not surprised.”

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